The Secret Formula to Say NO Without Guilt
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A formula I teach for saying NO to certain things you may need to turn down goes like this: Let’s say you’re declining an invitation. Here’s what often goes wrong: you start by saying “thank you.” You lead with gratitude first, saying something like, “Thank you, I’d love to. That sounds wonderful, but I can’t.”
The mistake happens when you lead with gratitude and then end with the NO. The word but takes away from everything that came before it. For example: “This is great. I think this is wonderful. This is the best thing ever, but…” That little word but dismisses what you said before—it has a way of deleting your positive statement.
So instead, flip it. Start with NO first, then end with gratitude. For example, when someone invites you to something, say: “I can’t. That sounds wonderful. Thank you for inviting me.” And if you want to end with kindness, you can add: “I’ve heard that’s a great place. Let me know how it is.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIB1f0LTkUg